Sports Discourse

    First base for small talk among males: sports. "Did you catch the game last night?" I didn't. "Who's gonna win the super bowl?" Not a clue. "Who's your favorite team?" I don't have one. It's not that I don't enjoy sporting events, I played little league baseball for years. I just have more important things to care about. If there happens to be a game on, especially football, I'll watch, I'll get into and enjoy myself. But will I ever go out of my way for a sports team? Hell, no. Will I ignore my wife for a sports team? Even more vehemently no.

    It's a staple of sitcoms, beer commercials and comedy routines, the husband or boyfriend who just wants to watch the game, and his favorite lady keeps bothering him, tearing his attention from the screen. To me it's an easy situation, one that doesn't cause me the least stress. How can I put this, my wife... does...certain things with me behind closed doors that I enjoy and she would not want detailed online. Suffice it to say these activities are much more fulfilling than whatever game happens to be on TV. I have no hesitation in admitting this, and it is a decision I will stand by. I see friends, family members, casual acquaintances and total strangers who invest a great deal of time and money following everything some team like a lost puppy. If their team won, they are happy for days, and they get dpressed after a big loss. They plaster decals on their car like a tramp stamp, and proudly wear shirts with another man's name on them. Fanatics even gouge their skin and fill it with ink, a tattoo to show everyone that even if they are naked, they still love the Yankees or the Lakers or the Steelers.
    And this is somehow considered normal, cool even, among other men. And people like me are branded as whipped or gay or a pussy for not following a favored team of muscley, sweaty men. If you ask me about my favorite team, I will ask you what your favorite team is. My favorite team is whoever is playing against your favorite team. I have more important things to get worked up about. So feel free to call me gay if it makes you feel better about idolizing 63 men in matching outfits. I'll be at home fucking my wife.

Some Things Matter More

    My wife and I have been married for just over two years now, and now is as good a time as any to share a bit of family drama we experienced. Our marriage ended up being rather impromptu, and we decided on a very small ceremony mostly for family, with a big, more inclusive barbeque at Ontario Beach State Park for the reception. The ceremony was just parents, grandparents, siblings and a couple close friends, so naturally we were gobsmacked when my wife's grandparents on her father's side decided they would not be in attendance.
    It wasn't so much that they chose to come, but why the opted out. The story we were told is that the two of them visited their religious official, in their Roman Catholic church, and they were informed that because the wedding wasn't Catholic, they couldn't even sit in the chairs as part of the crowd and celebrate our union with us. Now, my wife has dabbled in Wicca, and I was raised in Reform Judaism which I do not practice anymore. However, the ceremony, if they'd taken any time to learn about, was not specific to any religion. We included a Wiccan ritual, a Jewish one, a reading from the New Testement and a reading from Chinese origin. More than any religious slant, it was a celebration of love. Where ia the offensive aspect, what about a wedding would so sully a Catholic that they can't even watch?
    Apart from their holy instructions to boycott the marriage, what kind of lack of human decency is this that avoids a wedding? Perhaps it really is an afront to Catholic beliefs to join our blissful celebration. So what? Come, enjoy our company, acknowledge our commitment to each other, and then drag your ass to confession on Sunday and make up for it. Which, by the way, I would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation. " 'Bless me father for I have sinned' 'What are your sins my child?' 'I went to a beautiful, romantic, unique wedding that wasn't Catholic' 'Seven Hail Marys is the penance for this offense to the Lord'."

A Contract Can't Be Gay

   I was surprised and unexpectedly proud of New York when we legalized same-sex marriage a while back. The numbers were solid, too; my local newspaper, The Democrat and Chronicle reported that 54-58% of New Yorkers were in favor of the change for acceptance. Almost immediately, however, there was a lawsuit filed by a conservative religious group. Shamefully enough the group is based in Rochester's own suburb of Spencerport, reinforcing stereotypes in the big apple that Western New York is all cow town and country bumpkins. As the saying goes, if you don't approve of gay marriage, don't marry someone of the same sex!
     The most infuriating part of this fresh attack on homosexual rights, to me at least, is the new direction of attack to accomplish their intolerant goal. The procedures for how the issue was legislated are being called into question. The group spitefully calls themselves New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms (I won't bother breaking down all the hypocrisies just in this name) and they are claiming open door meeting laws were violated in the process. Additionally, they believe that procedures were violated by the bill not being sent to appropriate committees prior to the vote on the Senate floor. If you would like a more complete breakdown of the legal issues called into question, you can read about it here. Annoyingly enough, the bill vote passed: it would likely pass again if required. I see it as simply being a hindrance for the purpose of being a hindrance. It is shouting and jumping up and down and waving of arms, throwing a childish tantrum at the actions of happy people which do not affect them in any way other than those produced in their own minds.

     Sorry, religious-conservatives, you didn't succeed in convincing enough of us that a harmonious union celebrating the love and promise of two individuals in a legal contract with the state was an affront to the lord. It's your right as Americans to continue to persecute and demonize your fellow humans inside the confines of your church. However, for the love of God, act like an American and tolerate the fact that all men are created equal and therefore all deserve the same rights. We voted this in, even though we shouldn't have had to. Just because you believe you are right doesn't mean you have the privilege to force everyone to live their lives that way. As a good friend of mine once said (actually he's a complete stranger and I'm paraphrasing, but his point is true) 'When I teach physics, it isn't called gay physics. When I donate money, they don't call it a gay donation. When I get married, why can't it just be marriage?' Well, friend, too many people in America, through ignorance, intolerance, or fear still find the need to tally all they ways we are different, rather than agreeing we are all people.