Thursday, January 5, 2012

The Gist of my Sis and the Sad of my Dad

    My grandma recently 'voluntarily' decided to stop driving and my dad is batting around several ideas for what to do with her car. His front-running option is to put enough money into it to make it run and pass inspection, and promise it to my sister when she gets her license. All well and good, until you realize that my sister is 24 and has resisted my father's driving instruction for six years. I'm two years younger than my sister, and I've had my licence for almost three years now. I bought my own car which I'm still making on-time payments for. I learned to drive primarily by myself, and with help from my wife and her aunt, and a bit from my parents. My dad, by the way, was usually too tired from arguing with my sister teaching her to drive that he didn't have much time to teach me. I've beaten around to bush in many conversations with my dad, so here I'm going to be blunt. My dad is spoiling my 24 year old sister.
    It's especially infuriating for me, because in my opinion he did a very good job raising me. I have an accurate moral compass, and I have good decision-making skills which is really what the goal of parenting should be. My sister is lazy, frightfully irresponsible, and her conscience isn't strong enough to combat peer pressure or the power of suggestion. To boot, she is utterly convinced of her own superiority. When she was younger, she struggled with simple math problems; she would finish one, move on to the next, and already have forgotten how to get the solution. My father got so frustrated trying to help her he would sit next to her telling her that she knew how to get the answer, and she still struggled. Somehow she now believes she her opinions are always right, and traditionally, she is usually wrong. She is covetous, and will frequently use or consume something belonging to others, and this likewise stems from their past interactions. More times than I can count, I was made to share a portion of my meal at a restaurant with my sister because she asked my dad and he instructed me to give up a bite. No wonder she doesn't respect the thoughts and feelings of others.
    Sorry to laden this post with a huge sob story at my sister's expense, but I see the underlying issues they seem to refuse to address. My dad and I have had several conversations about my sister, and his frustrations with her. He told me how powerless he felt, that with her being 24 years old he has no leverage with her. His leverage lies in all the MANY MANY things she asks for that he provides her with including food, items and cold, hard cash as well as the things he voluntarily gives her, like the car. It's quite simple: either she is independant of her father, or dependant on him and everything that implies. If my dad wants to keep appeasing her with money, then she is dependant and he has absolute claim to any rules he tries to enforce. If she is independant, she can ignore any rules she pleases, but she has no right to anything from her father, be it money, assistance or even shelter in the house she's made no indiciation of ever moving out of. Dad, if you want to motivate my sister to drive, then stop giving her rides everywhere. Make her walk or take the bus. That's fucking motivation. That is allowing her to fail and learn from her mistake instead of living life with the bumpers up, with daddy protecting his little girl from the slightest possibility of experiencing failure or negative emotions. Dad, you need to be OK with lettering her fail, and more than that, letting her know when she is full of shit. I always was charged with reigning my friends in from making fun of her. Maybe if we hadn't been so restrained, she would have a more accurate outlook on who and what exactly she is. Instead if her current delusions where she can do no wrong, reinforced by her father.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Imagine ALL the People

    Happy 2012 all! For those of you who saw the ball drop last night, do you remember Cee Lo Green singing "Imagine" by John Lennon? Not too bad a rendition if I do say so. I was admittedly apprehensive when I saw who was singing, but the soulful version Mr. Green brought to New York wasn't bad. He did catch some flack for changing the lyrics, saying "all religion true" instead of Lennon's original "no religion too" but these are the times when we must seek mass appeal (but that's another blog entry). What pissed me off about the ceremony was the attire of Cee Lo in context.
    If you were paying attention, you would have seen the singer in a black fur coat decked out in gold accessories. Which is fine for a artist trying to appeal to urban listeners, but "Imagine" is what he's there to sing! Does he have any idea what the song is about? It really struck me when he sang the line "imagine no possessions/I wonder if you can." ...Well I know someone who can't imagine 'no possessions.' Any meaningfulness that might've been brought to the song was obliterated by the blatant opulence.
    In all honesty, I don't begrudge Cee Lo Green for having money or nice things. Just recognize and respect the message of the song you're singing for Christ's sake. The outfit would've been fine if the song was his classic "Fuck You," but not for an idyllic utopian song about how humanity as a whole could come together and share the world as equals. All I'm saying is that some people are dreamers, and some people are paid to pretend to be dreamers; I don't think Lennon would've counted Cee Lo Green among dreamers with which to join. Certainly not based on the evidence presented.